The Elastic Band Theory Article II by Francesca Burke

The Elastic Band Theory Article II | Local residents’ association Facebook group mistaken for terrorist cell

Article I

By Connor St. James, local reporter

18th November

A local residents’ Facebook group was investigated by police this week after incendiary and violent language was flagged up on Facebook’s system.

Police raided the home of Mrs. Barbara Ophelia Nightingale Masters-Preston, president of the Wisteria Avenue Residents’ Group (WARG) which was holding its fortnightly meeting in her conservatory, on Tuesday afternoon. The Facebook group chat was deemed to be a potential threat to public safety after members of the group suggested ‘torching’ a neighbour’s front lawn, ‘executing’ a garden ornament and ‘putting an end to all the foreign rubbish in this country.’

Mrs. Nightingale Masters-Preston, who was released without charge, told reporters, ‘we weren’t inciting terrorism! We were figuring out how to remove an ugly statue from our neighbour’s front lawn! And I told Rupert not to keep calling Remain voters ‘foreign rubbish’, especially since he has an aunt in Spain, but he never listens.’

The Wisteria Avenue Residents’ Group has been banned under the Terrorism Act 2000.

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Thank you to Liz for critiquing! Article III coming 2nd February for patrons; online  6th February.

© Francesca Burke 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Francesca Burke and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.



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