The Elastic Band Theory Article V | Local artist sells elastic effigy of Botticelli’s ‘The Birth of Venus’ to the highest bidder

The Elastic Band Theory Article Five by Francesca Burke

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By Connor St. James, local reporter

3rd March

Upton Chipping-on-the-River resident Ms. Tiffany Crawley has sold a life-sized depiction of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, for the sum of £100,000.

Ms. Crawley, a Glaswegian artist who has lived in the Turks and Caicos Islands, sold her most famous work in a bidding war that lasted over four hours. Ms. Crawley’s elastic band sculptures were recently displayed in the Upton Chipping-on-the-River Town Hall Museum and Gallery and were not for sale, but Ms. Crawley told us, ‘the price of rubber has increased so much in the last few months, it felt prudent to sell while I could. I’m planning to move to the Cayman Islands with my husband, with whom I have decided to reconcile after a separation of 15-20 years without parole.’

The buyer is said to be one Barbara Ophelia Nightingale Masters-Preston, whose shipping and packaging business has suffered greatly since the UK supply of elastic bands plummeted over the winter. ‘I’ll dismantle her slowly,’ Mrs. Nightingale Masters-Preston was heard telling neighbours. ‘Venus’s arm alone will ease the packaging backlog I’ve had.’

It is not known what Ms. Crawley will do with her other elastic band sculptures, although it is estimated that their combined worth could be up to £150,000,000.

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Thank you to Liz for the critique!

© Francesca Burke 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Francesca Burke and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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