Forced Reflection (The Devil, Major Arcana Series) by Francesca Astraea

‘I want a refund.’ Angel Fitzgerald stood at the counter of Bezzina’s Emporium of Magical Artefacts and Antiquities, clutching a large object partially wrapped in pink tissue. The assistant behind the counter, the short girl with miles of hair, eyed the offending product. ‘I’ll need to see a receipt and the label, please, ma’am.’ Angel …

The Elastic Band Theory Article V | Local artist sells elastic effigy of Botticelli’s ‘The Birth of Venus’ to the highest bidder

Article I Article II Article III Article IV By Connor St. James, local reporter 3rd March Upton Chipping-on-the-River resident Ms. Tiffany Crawley has sold a life-sized depiction of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, for the sum of £100,000. Ms. Crawley, a Glaswegian artist who has lived in the Turks and Caicos Islands, sold her most …

The Elastic Band Theory Article IV | Rubber price soars as UK faces shortage

Article I Article II Article III By Connor St. James, local reporter 22nd January The price of rubber in the UK has soared this week to record levels. Leaf blight has infected rubber trees in Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia, the site of most of the world’s rubber plantations, since last October. Given that over 60% …

The Elastic Band Theory Article III | Local resident holds rubber band sculpture exhibition

Article I Article II By Connor St. James, local reporter 20th December Upton Chipping-on-the-River resident Tiffany Crawley has been named as the Upton Chipping-on-the-River Town Hall Museum and Gallery resident artist over the Christmas period. Ms. Crawley is an elastic band sculptor, and has made almost fifty sculptors from elastic bands in the past four …

The Elastic Band Theory Article II | Local residents’ association Facebook group mistaken for terrorist cell

Article I By Connor St. James, local reporter 18th November A local residents’ Facebook group was investigated by police this week after incendiary and violent language was flagged up on Facebook’s system. Police raided the home of Mrs. Barbara Ophelia Nightingale Masters-Preston, president of the Wisteria Avenue Residents’ Group (WARG) which was holding its fortnightly …

The Elastic Band Theory Article I | Local homeowners complain about neighbour’s elastic garden ornaments

By Connor St. James, local reporter 4th September Residents of Wisteria Avenue, Upton Chipping-on-the-River, have officially complained to Upton Chipping-on-the-River Council about the eccentric garden ornament choices of their neighbour, Ms. Tiffany Crawley. According to the Wisteria Avenue Residents’ Group (WARG), Ms. Crawley, who is originally from Glasgow, is thought to have moved to the …

The Sea Witch’s Revenge Part I

Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to be a merman. He knew it was supposed to be the other way around — a mermaid wanting to become human — but the heart what it wants, and he wanted to own a tail, breathe underwater, and talk to fish. After years of …

Everyday Acts of Murder: Dog Walking

On good days, Marlborough Park field was just the right side of pretty. Sun glinted off fences and goalposts while bright, bushy grass hid litter and dog excrement from immediate view. Although Marlborough Park was just off a main road, the traffic was strangely muffled, and walking one’s dog around the park’s perimeter was often …

Everyday Acts of Murder: Gardening

Finding a corpse in his compost heap was not what Graham Peters expected to do when he embarked on an afternoon of gardening one spring Sunday, but he had to admit it was more intriguing than deadheading. Which was a funny choice of words, given that the corpse was dismembered. A limb here, a digit …

Everyday Acts of Murder: Housework

‘Reg, dear, would you mind doing the washing up?’ Clarissa asked her husband as he slouched on the sofa. The TV was showing something sport-related, and the volume was one notch higher than Clarissa found comfortable. ‘Hm?’ ‘The washing up,’ Clarissa repeated. ‘It’s just that Robbie and Hannah will be here soon.’ In fact, they …